Camping according to Zan

Zan here. My people took me camping this past weekend, which was pretty awesome. Thought I'd share some pics with you from the trip. (mainly because mom's too lazy to blog, apparently).

I LOVE sticking my head out the window! All sorts of smells, cars to bark at . . .

These stupid little things were everywhere. I was so close to catching one, too.

I have one trapped in the pipe here. It made this annoying shrieking noise. I was rolling the pipe around, tipping it, trying to get the little bugger out so I could chomp it's head. But noooooo, mom and dad had to intervene. Didn't want me getting sick or some nonsense . . .

See???? Here's the rodent in the pipe! He's lucky mom and dad stopped me 'cause I would've eaten him whole!!

I claimed the whole back area as mine. Of course, that didn't work out. Yeah. I know. The kid's cute.

Damn straight I have laser eyes! I'm the Chupacabra!

The lake was fun. I got to play in the water and chase rocks the kid threw in while my people failed miserably at fishing.

All the chipmunk chasing and swimming sure wears a dog out.

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Wolf sketch!

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Ayden is helping Daddy shoot one of our .22s while we were camping this weekend. Since we have guns in the house, it's important for him to learn gun safety and to respect them at a young age.

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Zan's a happy dog!

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Getting ready for camping!

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Yep! A dinosaur head to hang in our theater room!

Seriously, I'm NOT crazy . . .

Well maybe a little.
So I went to my doctor today (a different doc at my family practice office) as I can't get in to see a psychiatrist. It seems Colorado Springs is chalk-full of crazies and no one is accepting new clients. Awesome.
So anyway, I go to see PA Foss, to talk about my depression, and meds, and what I should be doing. I told her that I took myself off of the Prestiq as it made me feel like crap, and that I put myself back on Zoloft and increased the dose from 150mg to 200mg (the max dose). I'm all I stopped the Prestiq 2 dayse ago and I'm on day 3 of being back on the Zoloft and I feel fantastic! And she's all okaaaaaaay. So I tell her - it's okay - I'm a nurse! She kind of nods her head knowingly.
Then she asks me how my moods were before I ever started an antidepressant. So I tell her about knowing I had depressive feelings in middle school, and that I was a cutter in 6th grade but that I totally sucked at it because I don't like pain, and that most of the time I felt pretty normal but just with marked depressive periods. Then shes all have you ever spent money you didn't have on things you didn't need? And I'm all nooooo . . . . .wait! Yes! Yes I did! And then, did you ever go days on only a couple hours of sleep? Ummmmm, yeeeeeeees? When I was younger - you know - in my early 20's.
(I'm starting to feel slightly uneasy at this point, mind you). Then she asks, ever think you could take ever the world? And I'm all DUH! I'm freaking awesome! I could totally do it! She stares at me. I'm all I'm just joking, you know. I couldn't take over the world. Not without help, at least. I need minions.
She nods again. I feel a little crazy. I'm thinking, is she testing me? Man, I'm gonna fail . . .
But then she tells me she thinks that I don't have depression. She thinks I'm BIPOLAR.
Wait. What?
She says, not the crazy, full-on manic type of bipolar. Type 2, which generally has periods of elevated mood followed by depression. You fit that to a T. And most antidepressants don't work for you. And when you find one that does (Zoloft), you have to keep increasing the dose, which gives you an elevated mood for awhile, followed by depression again.
Which is too true, y'all.
I kinda laugh and say, funny you should mention bipolar. My husband has said that for a while now. (she's just staring at me). I mean, because, I always share way too much inappropriate stuff with everyone. People I work with know all about my vagina.
(she just keeps staring). I mean, people I know pretty well. They think it's hilarious. (SHIT. She has to think I'm crazy. Thanks a lot, mouth).
She says, yeah, that's pretty hallmark behavior. But there's no TMI in here!
Anyway, we're keeping me on the Zoloft and slowly adding Lamictal, which is a mood stabilizer for Bipolar disorder.
We'll see how it goes.

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From the back it looks like a giant penis . . . .

New Artwork

Ah, yes. A couple of new paintings from me. First up, "Fuck you, depression."

So, yeah. Self portrait. The wording in the lower right corner says "His eye is always on the sparrow". Yep. Symbolism and shit.

Second, "Will you guide me?" Ha! More symbolism. Fox and sparrow are my spirit animals.

Both are colored pencil, watercolors, coffee and ink on watercolor paper.

Hooray for new art!

Fuck off depression!

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Whats this? My new Wacom Graphire 4 tablet? Why yes! Yes it is!! Be on the lookout for digital art in the future!

My latest zombie bunny

Here he is! My latest zombie bunny!

He's pretty hard core. I mean, come on. He's got a lion head.

Om nom nom!

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Yay! A newly fledged baby robin!!!

OMG BIG BALLS!!!

LOOK at those big balls!!! They're HUGE!

Must. Get. Inside.

Hell yes! Ayden and I are DOING THIS!!

This is so awesome!

Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!

This past Saturday and Sunday was Spring Spree in Colorado Springs. It's basically a big festival type thing with vendors and food and music.

And AWESOME big balls!!

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Holy cow! It's black Spiderman!!!

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Lazers charged and ready to fire . . .

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OMG I love squirrels!!!

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OMG TONS OF FABRIC! This is bolts and bolts of fabric - easily $300-400 worth. That we got dirt cheap. I'll never be able to use it all . . . .

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This is my "fuck you, depression" look.

Ummmmmmm . . . .

WTF, Prestiq???????? Aren't you supposed to be making me feel better? Okay seriously. As an antidepressant, you're supposed to control my depressive symptoms, yes? I take you every day, you make me feel better.
Well, you're not holding up your end of the bargain. I'm taking you daily, and I'm increasingly feeling like crap.
So, WHAT. THE. FUCK.
I mean, really. How many more antidepressants do I have to try before I find one that consistantly works. Prestiq is the 4th one I've been on. Lexapro killed my sex drive, Welbutrin made me homicidal and suicidal, Zoloft stopped working, and Prestiq apparently gives me unstable moods.
I'm about to bitch slap that stupid bottle of pills.
Fuck you, Prestiq, for making me feel like a failure.

Albino Zombie Squirrel

Yes. It had to be done.

An albino zombie squirrel.

His tail is just vertebrae, and he's holding onto a kidney with the ureter still attached.

Om nom nom! Kidneys are gooooood!

I like him. I think he's cute!

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Couple of WIPs!!! AKA: sneak peak!

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Haha! Got a worm from MIB!!!

I'm trying an expiriment . . . . .

I'm going to be scientific. I can picture myself right now in a crisp white lab coat, clipboard in hand, hair pulled back and slightly disheveled, with a pencil held loosely in my mouth.

Because apparently that's how I'd look if I was being scientific. I don't know why. Don't judge me.

Anyway, if you read my bloggy blog at all, you know I have depression. You also know that I recently switched medications. I'm on a new antidepressant called Prestique. Sounds fancy, yeah? So, it's going pretty well. Could be better, but I've only been on it for 4 weeks and it can take a minimum of 6-8 weeks to reach therapeutic levels.

But I've had some really bad days. And I mean bad. I've been keeping track of my bad days and the circumstances around those days. What happened the previous day, that morning, what made me feel better, worse, etc. Some of my bad days, like last Saturday, were full-on depression (which spawned my latest painting). Some days, like yesterday, are a "down" feeling coupled with anger. Neither are pleasant.

I have noticed a common factor, however.

Sugar.

Yes, sugar. It seems that if I consume a large amount of sugar, the following day I feel like complete shit. Either the depressed or the very angry. Which sucks because sugar is sooooo fucking good. I mean, come on. Who doesn't like cookies and cupcakes and whatnot????

So here's what I'm going to do: try and cut out most sugar. Meaning, no soda, no candy or chocolate, no cakes, cupcakes, or cookies.

Do you realize how much this is going to suck????

But, if it keeps me from feeling like shit all the time, I'm all for it.

One thing I won't give up is my flavored coffee creamer. I can't do the sugar-free crap. It tastes like, well, crap.

I'm totally a scientist.

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Ayden and Zan sleeping.

New Art!!!

This is my latest painting. Took me about 2 hours on Saturday, from start to finish. It's coffee, watercolors, ink and colored pencil on watercolor paper.

A self portrait entitled "Empty. . ."
I'm very happy with how it turned out. And, as it's a very personal painting, I will be keeping it! Probably will be hanging in my studio shortly . . . .

(c) 2010 Icky Dog Creations

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Ayden is throwing those fun pop firework thingies. You know - the little white paper capsules that you throw on the ground and they make a loud popping noise. They're awesome!

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OMG!!! I didn't know Paris Hilton loved me so!!!

Almost there!!!!!

I've been wanting to try my hand at digital art for some time now. I've downloaded Gimp and have been messing around with it here and there. My biggest problem is that I can't draw worth crap with the little touch pad thingy on my laptop. And I'm even worse with a mouse.

Like, really bad.


The logical solution, of course, is to get a tablet. Then I can draw with a stylis and have heaps more control over what I'm doing. I've done some research and talked with many digital artists as to what they prefer. People overwhelmingly recommend a Wacom Bamboo Tablet.

I've decided on the small tablet as it should serve my purposes well (it's also less expensive). So, here's my cunundrum. Since I started selling my plushies and art, Jeremy and I agreed that any art related purchase would be made from my paypal account. Meaning, I need to have money in my paypal to get my tablet.

I'm almost there people!!! I'm about $20 short. (I would have had enough except that I bought a really expensive pair of shoes for work and I paid for half with my paypal - so that Jeremy wouldn't have a heart attack, which he does if I want to spend more than $15 on shoes - seriously, y'all).

Which is why I still have my sale going on in my Etsy store!!! Most of my critters are marked down, and I'll be adding a few new ones the middle of the week.

So, always wanted a demented plush?? Check out my sale! Help me finally get my tablet!!

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:D

Custom Plush!!

I typically don't do art trades. But this gal on Deviant Art has been pretty persistant in wanting to do a trade with me. So I caved. I freed up some time and decided to do a trade with her.

She was wanting me to do a plush of one of her characters, Zitox. A purple and black unicorn with a turbulant past. In return, she's doing some artwork for me.

Well, here's the final plush:

There were a few details that I left out. Namely, a long rainbow colored tongue, and rainbow spikes on the hind legs. And only because I didn't have any rainbow colored fabric, and was a little too lazy to try and find/make any. :D

I hope she likes her Zitox plushie!!

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So my pic yesterday is the one that Jeremy snapped of Ayden, Zan and I sleeping. This is the one that I took after I got up. I got up because Ayden decided he needed to sleep like this.

Which is very uncomfortable for me.

Zan could care less though.

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Jeremy snapped this pic before going to work this morning. Zan, of course, has lazer eyes. AND, I have no makeup on!! That's right - me without makeup!

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Have you ever seen anything so freaking cute????

Burning Ladybugs . . . .

If you read my post yesterday, you saw an adorable picture of my son with a ladybug. You also read something a little disturbing that he said about ladybugs. If you missed it, here's what he said:

"Ladybug fly away, your house is on fire, your children will burn."

After I stopped laughing hysterically, I was all WTF??? Your children will burn??????

My son is sweet and adorable and completely without homicidal tendencies. Where the hell did he get this?

I was telling people at work yesterday what he said and joking that my mother-in-law (who watches Ayden when Jeremy and I are at work) is the one he got it from.

Which turns out, is totally freaking true.

No joke. Jeremy said that MIL heard it as a nursery rhyme when she was little.

Ummmmmmm, okaaaaaaaaaay.

But I looked it up on the interwebs and yeah, it's a nursery rhyme.

Here's how it really goes:

Ladybug! Ladybug!

Fly away home.

Your house is on fire.

And your children all gone.
All except one,

And that's little Ann,

For she crept under

The frying pan

So yeah. It's a legit nursery rhyme. Except my son apparently took some artistic liberties and changed "children all gone" to "your children will burn".

Or he's 3 and didn't remember it correctly.

One of the two.

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Ayden freaking loves lady bugs. LOVES them. He has one on his face. Because he's awesome.

We asked him what the lady bug's name was, and this is what he said:

"Lady bug fly home, your house is on fire and your children will burn."

No shit, y'all. My adorable 3 year old said that.

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Mulch is delightful!

Pillow fights are actually pretty fun. And awesome.

If you've watched any music videos, or movies, or porn (admit it, it's okay), you've probably noticed that there are a lot of pillow fights going on. It seems that guys think that when a group of ladies get together, we have random pillow fights in our panties with feathers flying everywhere.

Well, yeah. That totally doesn't happen. Well, maybe if you live in a sorority and you're a lesbian.

Or if you're in a porno.

Oooooorrrrrrr, if you come to my house, apparently.

Oh man. Random pillow fight.

Yeah. So that's me and my friends Amy and Heather. We're totally having a pillow fight. Heather's boyfriend, Freddie, is on the couch having a good laugh.

Heather, Amy and I planned the pillow fight ahead of time. Because we're awesome. We thought it would be hilarious to see how the guys reacted to a real life chick pillow fight.

Of course, we weren't in our panties on a bed with feathers flying around. And we didn't make out after.

Although in this picture it looks like Heather and I are sucking off an invisible double dong . . . .

Which is creepy and mildly arousing.

Well, more creepy.

I have to say though, the pillow fight was actually freaking fun!!!

Like, seriously. I think everyone should have random pillow fights . . . . the world would be a better place.