Me: *banging head against wall* I'll be right there! *makes pretend gun with hand and shoots self in head*
On the med/surg floor I worked on, we had a "frequent flyer" who was probably one of the most aweful people I've taken care of. He had hepatic encephalopothy - he basically drank himself stupid. Literally. He was terribly gross. Constantly yelling out that he need peri-care (he wanted his ass and nutsack cleaned). And I mean yelling. Disturbing other patients. Wouldn't use the call bell. And grape juice. Good LORD this guy went through the grape juice. He should have bought stock in it. He was the type of patient that you were only assigned to for one day and then it was someone elses turn. Though we'd all take turns going into the room because, well, strength in numbers. I don't miss him.
And now . . . . . . David Duchovny! Why? He's pretty damn hot! I was a huge X-Files fan and have always had a crush on him. Mmmmmmm.