BAMF

So we've established that I'm going to keep my blog up. But I decided that I need to share the load of posting. So one day a week, probably on Thursdays, I'm giving the blog over to Zan.

That's right. My dog. She has things to say. Mostly irrelevant things, but things none the less.


And, she excited to speak her mind.

Though her posts will start next week. As you can see, she's busy eating a stick. Waaaaaaay more important than writing. Apparently.

Holy crap I'm indecisive

My hubby convinced me to keep blogging. I just won't be doing it as frequently. Maybe 4 posts a week? We'll see.
I am, however, changing the content in my blog. Focusing mainly on my artwork, Etsy shop, and family stuff. I think I'll bring back my Friday Feature.
Also, based on past events, I'll be carefull about certain things I write about. Because apparently I offend people.
Any suggestions on sections/stories for the blog?

Probably my last post

I've been thinking long and hard about my blog, and whether or not I want to keep up with it. Well, I think I'm done with it. Sometimes I enjoy bloging, and other times I hate it. And lately, it's only been causing me grief. Not to mention that I only have a few faithful readers and I'm getting bored and annoyed with it.
It's bitter-sweet, and a difficult decision, but I think it will also be liberating. I'll leave this post up for a day or two, and then I'll deactivate my blog.
Thank you for those who stood by me and commented :)

Project 365

Ayden and his "girlfriend" Johanna. Ayden "fell", and Jo is helping him up :)
So fun to watch them play!!

Project 365

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Cupcakes for my birthday!!!!

I made something awesome. As usual.

I'm quite modest, yeah?

So I made this bad ass sculpture:

His name is Kirin.

He's going to take over the world some day. And he has an adorable fluffy but.

He's quite soft.

And steampunk.

And overall awesome.

Kirin is made entirely out of stuff I had around the house. His body frame is bailing wire and a battery housing. His head is a muskrat skull. His left front leg is the innards of a clamp. His right leg, a baby goat leg. His hind legs are mink legs over bailing wire. His body fur is arctic fox, and tail is pigeon feathers. And then he has tons of steampunk bits - aka watch parts! His horn thingies are watch springs and he has watch housings, gears and cogs as well.

Kirin rules.

Project 365

A very interesting tree.

Project 365

Playing outside on a gorgeous fall day!!

Project 365

Sweet rice!!! YUM!
It's rice with milk, brown sugar and cinnamon!

Project 365

Oh yeah!

Project 365

Crepes are DELICIOUS!!

Project 365: Enjoy the Silence

A self portrait. :D There's TONS of symbolism in this piece. Though yeah, I'm not going to explain it. This is vent art! Did ya read the previous post?

Do you know satire?

From Art and Popular Culture:

Satire (from Latin satira, "medley, dish of colourful fruits") is an artistic form, chiefly literary and dramatic, in which human or individual vices, follies, abuses, or shortcomings are held up to censure by means of ridicule, derision, burlesque, irony, or other methods, sometimes with an intent to bring about improvement. It is used in graphic arts and performing arts as well. Although satire is usually witty, and often very funny, the purpose of satire is not primarily humour but criticism of an event, an individual or a group in a clever manner.

I think it's amazing how many people take what I write so literally. I get messages offering support and guidance (to my email, mind you. I guess people don't want to leave those comments on my blog). People who are concerned with my mental state and my stability.

So, for those of you who are concerned, let me make this ABUNDANTLY CLEAR:

I AM BAT-SHIT CRAZY.

You get that? That's called sarcasm. This, and other writings of mine can also be classified as satire.

I am not, I repeat NOT a serious writer. Or maybe I am. One of the two.

Here's the important part. Gather 'round my tender lumplings, as I'll only say this once. Almost everything I write is humor, satire, and sarcasm. Do I have some serious posts? YES. Do I have some vent posts? YES.

When I write about my bipolar disorder, I'm doing so to add humor to an otherwise taboo subject. People don't like to talk about mental illness. It's a touchy subject. One of us "crazies" might get offended or upset or go into a raging psychotic episode. (satire, people).

Which is why I write about it. If I can put a humerous spin on it, maybe people will stop being so judgmental. Maybe people won't be afraid to talk about it. Maybe, just maybe, someone will learn something. And if not, maybe I can get a laugh.

Take everything I write with a grain of salt. If you know me, you know I use humor as a means to get my message across. You take away that, you take away my voice. And also my most effective coping mechanism. See that? I use humor as a defense mechanism. To handle stressfull situations. That's psychology, people. I just taught you something.

You're wellcome.

Project 365

I found a dead pigeon!!!! Had to get some pictures of the wings, as they make good references for drawings. He grossed Jeremy out. I thought he was nifty. I put him in our composter to decompose. And then I'm keeping his skull :)

Project 365

Pretty view from Mt. Evans.

Project 365

Rainbow trout!!!
This is from a small lake in Breckenridge, Colorado. We took a mini vacay there a couple of weeks ago. The fish were HUGE and you could feed them! Yay!
Ayden loved watching them. You'd toss in bread and they would leap out of the water at it!

. . . . . .

Do we ever know people?

WTF, body???

So, being a nurse, I like to ignore my own health symptoms. Every nurse does it. We self diagnose, but we're also in denial about our own health. We're horrible patients.

Anyway, I've been purposefully ignoring symptoms for the past couple of months. See, I've been ridiculously hungry. I'll eat a huge meal and feel hungry again 20 minutes later. I've been excessively thirsty. Drinking 3-4 liters of water daily. I've been peeing, like, a lot. I don't know, 12 times or so a day? And I'm so tired. Fatigued. And headaches. It's awesome. Or not.

I've been ignoring these symptoms because of what they imply.

Diabetes. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

Or, "diabeetus", according to Wilferd Brimley . . . .

Seriously, WTF???

Well, I've given up and I'm going to see my doctor on Friday. I've been checking my blood sugars at work (I'm a nurse - I have access to glucometers. Stop judging me). The one that concerned me was my fasting blood sugar. I didn't eat or drink anything except water for 12 hours and my sugar was 98. Two points below meeting the pre-diabetes threshold.

So yeah. I'm pretty stoked that I might be pre-diabetic.

Stupid diabeetus cat.

I'll post more on Friday after I see my doctor.

Project 365

OMG MARMOT!!!!!!!

Project 365

Ayden picked flowers for me!!! These are from our backyard and they're perfect because they're from him!!!

An update on Amy

It's been awhile since I gave you guys an update on my friend Amy.
She had surgery on the 8th to remove her brain tumor. Amazingly, her surgeon was able to remove 99% of the tumor!!! It ended up being the size of a tennis ball.
She lost the ability to speak after the surgery but is able to say more and more each day. Her right side is also very weak, but she's gaining strength every day!
She was discharged home on the 11th (yes, only 3 days in the hospital for major brain surgery). But she is doing sooooooo well!! We should get back the staging of the tumor some time this week. If it's stage 2 - no chemo or radiation! So we're hoping for that!

Project 365

Ayden climbed a rock. He's awesome.

ELKEN!!!! And Project 365

OMG I'm lazy!!!! So this post is Project 365 for Sunday AND Monday. And awesome pictures of ELKEN!!!! That's what I use as plural for elk. Even though "elk" is the proper term for multiple elk. And for a singular elk. See? I just taught you something.

You're welcome.


But I like to call them elken. Mainly because I'm awesome like that.


Anyway, we went to Estes Park on Sunday for the Scottish Festival. The highlight of the festival were the wild elken that were not part of the festival (Estes is a mountain town - there are elken everywhere). And that I got some delightful Lemon Curd (basically a creamy, lemony spread of the GODS!).


I love lemon.


The festival was $25 a person. A person. We thought it was free. But we went with friends and thought it would be rude to drive 3 hours and be all screw this! It's expensive! So we sucked it up and dropped $50 to get in (luckily Ayden was free). There was lots of Celtic dancing, bagpipes, traditional Scottish games (that we couldn't play because they were a competition), and tons of overpriced food and souvenirs.


For example, we found the Baird family tartan (yes, Jeremy is half Irish and yes, I know it was a Scottish festival, but there was Irish stuff there too). To buy a scarf in the Baird colors . . . .$26. For a scarf.


We didn't buy it.


Then we got a snack. A meat pie. Basically a small potpie. We split one and got a bottle of water. $9.50.


To recap: Elken and Lemon Curd = Awesome, Scottish Festival = expensive and somewhat boring.


On to the pics!

This elken looks sooooooo happy!! He was sleeping in the shade, enjoying himself.

Us, with the elken and the lake in the background.

OMG ELKEN!!










This guy was proud of his harem.

Hooray for elken!!

Project 365

This pic is actually for yesterday (Saturday).
My new painting, titled "So Close, Yet So Far"
It's a painting representing bipolar disorder (which I have). There's a TON of symbolism in this painting.
Of course, I'm too lazy to explain right now XD

Project 365 - My hubby and I rescued a sparrow!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. House sparrows are my favorite bird. EVER!!!

And we had the privilage of rescuing a male house sparrow! We kept him safe, fed him and gave him water, and kept him as stress free as we could. And he perked up and took off!!!

I wuvs him!!!!! For several hours he didn't look like he'd live. I'm so glad he did!

These pics are for Sept. 8, 9 and 10. And yep! That's me holding him!!

Prayers Needed Please

This is my friend Amy and her husband Shane. This morning, Amy is undergoing brain surgery to remove a malignant tumor.

Any and all prayers for her and her family are welcome, and much appreciated!

Thank you in advance, and I'll post any updates as I recieve them :)

Project 365

A fly! Hooray for macro!!!

Project 365 - Catch up!

Sept. 4 - GRASSHOPPER!

Feathers. Sept. 5th

Sept. 6th. Zan eating a stick. That was in our mulch. Yes, Zan LOVES eating our mulch.

Frustrated

Do you know how annoying it is to be on meds for bipolar and still be having hypomania? It's getting old. At first, I was all about the hypomanic states. I had tons of energy, I was always in a good mood, quick to laugh . . . it was kinda nice. Especially compared to my depression.
But the mania is now becoming a nuissance. I'm getting more and more inappropriate at work, cussing a lot more, and feeling unstable in my moods.
NOT a good sign.
I have yet to find a psychiatrist who is accepting new patients and my PA I've been seeing, she's great, but psych is not her specialty. I'm worried I'll have to switch up my meds and start all over.
So it's frustrating, to say the least. I have to make a very strong conscious effort to keep control of my behavior. And it's getting tiresome. I'm at the point where I don't really know what to do. I've been wanting to go out less and less because I'm worried about how I'll act.
And as I'm writing this, I feel like I'm going to cry, whereas this morning I was hyper and manic. I'm cycling rapidly.
If y'all have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

Project 365

Because I love cupcakes ever so much!

Project 365

Yep. That's my son. He built a block tower. And is herping his derp in the background.

Hmmmmmmm

Right now I have a love/hate relationship with blogger. See, I like being able to post shit. Random things, pictures, my artwork and Etsy stuff, ramblings . . . . .

But I hate that I don't really have a readership. There are a few of you (you know who you are) who actually read my posts and comment. Which is awesome. But really, it's like 4 people out of the 95 who "watch" my blog.

Which is disheartening. Ugh.

So every once in a while I go through this should I keep blogging, should I stop nonsense. Like I'm doing right now. On the one hand I'm all FUCK IT! No one's really reading this shit anyway so why spend the time?

But sometimes I rather enjoy writing my posts. Kind of like an online journal of sorts. It can be cathartic at times.

Like now. I'm all upset because I'm FUCKING BLOATED AS HELL!!!!! Seriously. Bloated and gassy and I feel like I need to take a huge crap.

You're welcome for that visual, by the way.

I've been feeling, shall we say, off the past couple of days. Kinda zoned out, apathetic, a little cranky and not at all myself. I've also been having some weird random bouts of nausea. Along with the delightful bloating. I'm really not sure why.

Don't say it's because I'm pregnant - I don't have a uterus!!!!!

So I'm all FUUUUUUUUCK are my new meds not working anymore?? They better be working because I can't find a psychiatrist who's accepting new patients.

And then I keep having this lower abdominal pain and I'm all NOOOOOO did I rupture an ovarian cyst again? Am I slowly filling my abdomen with blood???

And then I remember that I totally STILL HAVE OVARIES and I'm probably PMSing and that would be the cause of my moodiness, my bloating and all of that.

WTF, ovaries??? At least I don't still have a period.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, support our millitary.

Didn't see that one coming, did you?

Project 365

Ahhhhhhh, a pic of Ayden from our Halloween photoshoot. Don't worry. It's a fake gun. :)